Scams and Frauds

This world is full of ironies. Every once in a while, I receive emails like this:

Dear in Christ.

PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD BECAUSE IT IS A VOW I
MADE BEFORE GOD.

I am Mrs Facia Lufas from Bahrain.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (1.2Million U.S. Dollars
)
with one BANK here in Benin Republic,Cotonou Presently, this money is
still in the BANK.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three
months due to cancer problem.Though what disturbs me most is my stroke
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or
better still a christian individual that will utilize this fund the way
I
am going to instruct here in.

I want a church that will use this to fund churches, orphanages and
widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God
is
maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand
that
giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will
inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I
don’t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.

I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly
manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid
of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in
the bossom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my
case and I shall hold my peace.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hearing from you.
Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.
Yours in Christ.
Sister Facia Lufas

Let me get this straight. You have $1.2 million that you don’t know what to do with. So you give it to some stranger over email hoping that the other person is a Christian? Okay fine. Here’s my reply.

Dear sister Facia Lufas (emphasis: sister in lower-case),

I am sorry to hear about your afflictions and the fact that you don’t know what do with your money. However, I’ve think you’ve committed a grave sin in contacting me, a godless heretic bent on destroying the foundations of your religion.

As much as I would like to receive your money and donate it myself to people in need, I feel that I would very much misuse your money. That’s because I would donate it organizations that help others without proselytizing at all, organizations that help people for goodness sake. I know that runs contrary to your moral values, so I have no choice but to respectfully decline your offer.

Since you cannot bear the thought of your money going to secular organizations like Doctors Without Borders or Oxfam, I would therefore advise you to stalk other people online to give money to. Here are a few suggestions on what to look for:

a) Anyone who has trouble with capitalization, especially people who write “BANK” for no reason.
b) Any user on Godtube.com
c) People who claim they know what happens after they die.
d) People who are not aware of the need to pay taxes on foreign income.
e) Catholics
f) Mormons
g) People who see Jesus in their cereal, sell it on Ebay, and use that money to stalk other Christians online

I sincerely hope you find your peace with Yahweh.
Faithlessly yours,
Mike

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Posted on March 6, 2011, in Religion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hilarious. I’ve received these emails before, but never sent a reply. The most I’ve done is write 666 on my forehead when the Mormons come to my door.

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